No one else can do your push-ups for you. This means that there is always an amount of personal responsibility and action you need to take to be a better version of yourself.
Those are your arms, your lungs, and your chesticles you’re working doing those push-ups. But, in many ways, we share our hearts and minds with others.
Your desire to be better for your kids could be the WHY behind your reps. Your drive to show your community what’s possible could be the WHY behind the choices you make at the dinner table each day. Our relationships drive us…. and they also devastate us. They give us the fuel we need to grow: the good, the bad, and the ugly. But I’m here to share with you today that you can have a lot more of the good, and a lot less of the ugly, if you realize how to approach your relationships with heart, intention, and a willingness to be better yourself.
I’m in a pretty interesting place because I’ve been with my wife for almost 15 years, yet a lot of the time I feel like I just met her, and I’m overjoyed just to be around her. I don’t think there’s anything innately different about us… there was a phase when we pretty much wanted to avoid each other (insert laughing but serious here). But something changed… we DECIDED to work on us. Not just separately, we had plenty of personal development we were working on, but deciding to work on us together as a unit is what shifted everything. We’ll call it Together Development™ (that’s right… called dibs!).
My guest today is the person who’s helped me to grow the most. She’s shown me through her actions, words, and being how to love, be loved, and be the best human that I can be. She’s the mastermind behind several successful businesses, she’s an inspiring speaker and force in so many people’s lives, she’s a devoted mother, giving friend, and a fox of a wife. Please enjoy this episode with the one and only, Anne Stevenson.
In this episode you’ll discover:
- Why some people mistakenly believe that once you get fit, the mission is over.
- How irritation can happen when your reality doesn’t match your identity.
- The difference between supporting someone’s growth and trying to change them.
- How external motivation can ignite your internal fire.
- How commitment and structure in the gym can transfer over to structure and execution throughout your life.
- Why being honest with yourself is critical for real success.
- How your personal dedication to health can be a huge influence on your family’s culture.
- Why you need to “make room” for relationships that match your mission.
- Why there’s a balance between challenging yourself and loving yourself.
- The #1 skill to develop to influence your family to improve along with you.
- How acceptance is a powerful tool for happiness.
- The two different types of people when it comes to motivation to achieve goals.
- Why it’s essential to take time out to solve conflicts with your significant (no matter what).
- Why exercise is a lifeline for parents.
- How to stand up in your role and step into your power.
Items mentioned in this episode include:
- Thrive Market Exclusive – 25% off your entire 1st order + free shipping!
- Organifi.com ⇐ Use the coupon code model for 20% off
- 5 Keys To An Amazing Relationship – With Anne Stevenson – Episode 176
- Put Yourself First – With Anne Stevenson – Episode 117
- 8 Steps To A Healthy Pregnancy & Birth – With Anne Stevenson – Episode 43
- Eric Thomas: The Key to Success with Lewis Howes
- TGIM – With ET
- You Vs. You – Episode 192
- Training Your Mind For Success – With Steve Weatherford – Episode 272
- Declutter Your Life – With Chalene Johnson – Episode 287
Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Model Health Show. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!
Listen, I've said this time and time again. I truly believe that our relationships are the most influential thing on our health, on our fitness, on our happiness, and on our overall success in life.
Truly if you're going to do anything exceptional in life, it's going to be with and through the assistance of other people. And this is coming from a reformed lone wolf, alright? I was all about doing everything by myself, you know? And relationships were just very temporary in my mental construct, you know?
I had my family, and then that was it, you know? And over time I've really come to realize just how important the people in our lives are, and cultivating great relationships.
And so I thought what better way to highlight relationships, and the benefits, and how we grow together, than having my closest relationship on the show today? So we've got a very special guest on this episode.
Before we get to this- let's just go ahead and put this out there, she's the best guest ever, alright? She's not even comparable, alright? She's the number one guest of all time, most downloaded, I'm just going to put this out there today.
Alright, but before we do, listen it's so important. My son, Braden, today he's showing his mom- he's got a crazy straw. Like you know at school they give these little goody bags, and in the goody bag is a crazy straw.
And I'm like, "Hey, look buddy. You got a crazy straw." And he was like, "What's that?" You know, he just thought it was a straw. But if you add the crazy on it, it becomes much more entertaining psychologically.
And so he told his mom about it, and she was like, "So what are you going to drink with it?" He was like, "My green juice." I was like, "Whoa, alright." He was talking about his Organifi.
And so even my little guy, my six year old, he understands the benefits, right? He wants to make sure he's getting his nutrient bases covered. He wants to make sure that he's getting the stuff for his muscles, right? That's very important to him.
And also, you know for him, it's he understands what it's like to be healthy when other kids aren't, or what it's like for him to get sick, and he doesn't like feeling that way.
So just leveraging those opportunities like, "Hey we need to make sure next time so you don't get sick to get the nutrients that your body needs to keep your immune system strong, and just to keep you being the best little guy that you can be, and growing into a big guy."
And so here's why we use Organifi. Now one of the ingredients in Organifi is moringa. Moringa is hot, alright? If you don't know about moringa, first of all it's been around literally thousands of years, documented in cultures that have been utilizing moringa, touted for- it's one of those kind of- and I don't like using this term, but a 'cure-all,' because it does have benefit for so many things from managing blood pressure, to helping with blood sugar, to helping to boost your immune system.
But here's why- if you look at the real kind of nuts and bolts of why it's beneficial is because of the micronutrient profile. Moringa contains seven times more vitamin C than oranges, it contains seven times more potassium than bananas, two times the amount of protein that's found in milk, and also four times the amount of calcium found in milk.
Milk- listen, this is one of the biggest mistakes, and one of the things that I was taught and marketed to when I was in school, is that if you want- how important calcium is for growth and for your bones.
I was chugging milk like I was getting paid for it, alright? Yet still, I had this degenerative bone disease. My bone density was so low, I broke my hip from running at the age of fifteen. Alright? Fifteen or sixteen years old at track practice, my bones were that brittle.
But I'm guzzling milk, I thought milk was calcium- was the whole- it's not how it works biochemically. Calcium is an end product, right? And so we need other things, first of all to make that work and do its job, but also other things help to create your bone.
Silica, for example. Magnesium, vitamin K2, vitamin D. All of these things work together synergistically to create your bone density, alright?
But calcium is important, and we want to get that from a bioavailable source that your body can actually use without all the side effects. Because not only was I chugga luggin' the milk and getting calcium, I'm also getting an insane amount of sugar as well coming via that particular medium, right?
And guess what sugar does? It leeches calcium from your bones ironically, alright? So getting it from dark leafy greens, and one of those being moringa.
Four times the amount of vitamin A that's in carrots, and twenty-five times the amount of iron that's found in spinach. That's just some. Guys, that's just some of the benefits that you get with moringa.
Moringa is just one of the ingredients that's found in Organifi. Moringa, spirulina, ashwaghanda, chlorella. Real superfoods, low-temperature processed, so you retain the nutrients and actually get what you think you're getting, alright? That's why they're so great.
And it tastes good. It tastes good enough- first of all, adults who drink it, but also kids as well. You know? So this is something I give my little guy. The green juice, also the red juice. He prefers the red juice, it's more his favorite.
It's like- I guess I'll throw this out there. It's like healthy Kool-Aid in a way, okay? Kool-Aid is probably one of the most unhealthy things you could possibly have. I was a master at creating Kool-Aid, by the way. I'd mix the flavors, I don't know if anybody's ever done that before.
You know, you take a fruit punch, and then you mix it maybe with like an orange, or a cherry, and you think you're just like the smartest person alive, alright? I'm sure many people have mixed up Kool-Aid flavors, but the amount of sugar- literally like a cup of sugar, right? A whole cup goes into making that Kool-Aid. Wonder why it tastes good.
It's sweet, it hurts like a little, like a little pain in your cheek when you drink it. That's when you know it's that good stuff, alright? But it's not good, don't do that. The red juice with Organifi.
They're using like acai, concentration of like all of these incredible berries, got a little B12 in there. So check that one out as well. So pop over, check them out, guys. You get 20% off utilizing your connection with The Model Health Show.
So go to www.Organifi.com/model. That's www.Organifi.com/model, 20% off everything, alright? Promise you, green juice, it is a must have for sure. They've got the red juice, they've got the new gold juice as well, check that one out.
Alright, so pop over, check them out, www.Organifi.com/model for 20% off. Now let's get to the iTunes review of the week.
ITunes Review: Another five-star review titled, 'The Top Off to My Knowledge Tank Every Week,' by TO.
"I first heard about Shawn a couple years ago when I was deployed overseas when he came over and spoke on Abel James' Fat-Burning Man Show.
I didn't start listening to Shawn's podcast right away, but I did go download a copy of 'Sleep Smarter,' and it opened my eyes to the importance of sleep like I was dropped down into The Matrix.
Fast-forward a couple years. As a husband, father, and military officer, I utilize Shawn's podcast as a top-off to just about every of wellness in my life. Coming from a man that has to continually pour into others, Shawn and his army of guests on his shows keep me filled up so I can stay in a state of giving to others.
Keep them coming, brother, and be blessed."
Shawn Stevenson: Alright, thank you so much for leaving me that review over in iTunes. I truly, truly do appreciate it. And please, if you've yet to leave a review, pop over to iTunes and hook it up, alright? Let everybody know what you think about the show, alright? I truly do appreciate it.
And on that note, let's get to our special guest.
Our guest today is the one and only, the amazing, the beautiful, the very best person ever born on the planet; my wife, Anne Stevenson. And real talk, she's just- oh my goodness. She's everything. She's everything.
And it's kind of even hard to talk about it. To get real, to get sentimental, because you transformed my life, you know? You're an amazing leader, you're an amazing mother, you're an amazing woman, you're an amazing wife, you're an amazing inspiration for other people, and you do it just like it's not a big deal, just because you're being yourself.
You're genuine, you're strangely funny. I didn't even know, I think I rubbed off on you. And you're sweet, you care about people, and you go above and beyond. You really know what it's about to take care of folks, and you help to run our company, you know?
You're the behind-the-scenes of The Model Health Show. You really make me look like I know what I'm doing, so I just appreciate you immensely and I'm happy to welcome you to the show.
Anne Stevenson: Oh, thanks so much- I don't know, can I say babe?
Shawn Stevenson: Yes. Yes, call me what you want. Yes.
Anne Stevenson: Thanks. You know, it's been awhile.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, yeah.
Anne Stevenson: And you know, I didn't really want to come, but I got forced finally, and I was backed into a corner, and it was like, 'This is it. I have to go. Otherwise I might not make it home again ever.'
Shawn Stevenson: You were in demand. I was showing you messages.
Anne Stevenson: I know.
Shawn Stevenson: People were sending me messages like, "We need Anne back on the show."
Anne Stevenson: Yeah, but I just didn't feel I was ready. I didn't feel like I had anything to say, but literally the last few weeks it's just like a lot's been coming my way, and it was like, "Okay, well I guess I do have something to say."
Shawn Stevenson: Oh truly, truly. I mean you drop nuggets of wisdom to me literally every day, but you know, it's just in our conversations.
And by the way, guys, I'll put her past appearances- we talked about natural birth, like I mean life changing insights and tips for that. Some of the most important things for building a healthy relationship.
It's probably seriously though one of my top five favorite episodes because of how important it is, just cultivating great relationships. So we'll put that in the show notes.
But today, first of all, I want to talk about you. I want to talk about you being a mother, you being a wife, you running your own company, you having great relationships with your mom and the people in your family, having friendships. You've got a lot of stuff going on.
Recently you've really kind of just like taken your fitness game up a notch. So first of all, what was the inspiration for that?
Anne Stevenson: For me- and I guess the little back story was ever since I met you, you know it's like I would go to the gym a couple of months, and then I would drop off for an entire year, and then I'll come back again in a few months, and a few months off.
So it was just like this cycle that just happened. But you know, it wasn't anything special for me, it was just like almost I felt you were forcing me half the time. That was true.
But not until after having Braden, our son, was when I started to really like- again, your hormones change. I mean I've always been small. I remember that's what we were talking about one of the last times I was here, was like why should I go to the gym? Like I'm done, why? There's no reason.
And I had the mental thing of, 'I'm small,' but then with the hormones changing, and just sitting and eating all the time, and just feeling fatigue. Baby's sick, well just stress. A lot of stress, having a baby.
And you know, with life and all of that, that led to just gaining weight. And it was just-it wasn't noticeable because I'm still small, but it was just my mid-section was just like getting out of control.
I mean you liked it, but for me, I had this idea like I still thought I was small until when I went to try on clothes I'm like, "This just does not even like-"
Shawn Stevenson: It doesn't match your identity.
Anne Stevenson: No, no it doesn't. So that's when I- again I would come to you and I'm like, "Workout. What's the workout that I should do?" And at this point, this was after 1,000 times of giving me a workout program, and telling me what to do, and I fail.
You was just like, "Just do the old one," which I had to go dig up somewhere. And you told me just when you're serious, you would create me another workout program.
So coincidentally, like it was right after my birthday, and I think everybody has that feeling of like when it's your birthday coming up, it's just like all these changes you haven't made, and you do start feeling down.
And I know personally people where it's like when their birthday comes around, like they are- it's like a dark cloud of like- it's a representation of all the things that they did not do.
So I went ahead and I was folding clothes that day, of course this heap of clothes and I'm like, "I told myself I wouldn't not end up-" just feeling just the burden of everything on my shoulders of being a mom.
And so this was three years ago, and I remember Louis had interviewed ET. I had never heard of ET before, and so I was like, "Oh man, this sounds good." It was about success and so I listened.
And when he started talking, I just felt like ET just came through the screen, and like grabbed me, and was like, "Listen. You need to really change."
But one of the things that he really- it just clicked for me, was execution. I wasn't really following through. And I would follow through sometimes, but long-term how that was affecting me.
And for me, I think that's like one of my special gifts. It's like I will get the message, but I'm able to like unravel it where I'm able to see how it fully applies in my life. And for me, it was like that execution. My time, how I'd been wasting so much time. I don't remember what exactly he said, and it was just like if this was my last day, how disappointed would I be? And it was like, "No more."
And then this- you know, of course The Model Health Show was starting to pick up, and it's like I can't be- I'm with you, and you're like super fit and everything, of course. And then here I am, I'm small but like I really was not about that life. I mean I acted like I was, but then I wasn't.
So that in itself was like- you know, my start was just listening to his program, and then from there I just created a 'how.' Because for me, it's like I got the message, next up is how does this actually fit?
Like I think it was overnight I put in a plan. It was like, "I'm going to get up before Braden does," and I think he was three years old. At this point had a really good system, he was waking up like a certain time in the morning. So I was like, "I'm just going to go super early to the gym with my old workout, and I'm just going to go at it for that hour and then come back home."
So initially it was hard, but then after awhile it just started to really excite me because it was like I was leaving when it's dark outside, so it's like I'm getting ahead of everybody, and then when I'm going to the gym, I'm like listening to something that's fueling my mind.
I get there, I do my workout. When I come back, I'm always listening to ET. Whatever TGIM was for that day. And that changed my life.
Like I know you'd come up and you're like, "What's going on what you?" And I was just- it's so much fire, and that was the missing factor for me because I had applied so much- you know, we've applied so much mental work, spiritual work over the years, we have all the how-to steps, and like we need to do this, this, and now we have the entrepreneurship going on.
But that was the missing piece for me was the execution, the following through, like really challenging myself. And so yeah, that's kind of the long short story.
Shawn Stevenson: I mean, I could just listen to you talk all day. So beautiful. Thank you, baby, for sharing that story. And listen, so two quick things.
When you said the, "I'm done" part, you know? Like because you were small. We just had that instance happen, another example, when we were at your sister's house.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: And her husband, Casey- shout-out to Casey.
Anne Stevenson: Casey!
Shawn Stevenson: He's just had this incredible physical transformation, you know? For him, his whole life, he was 'the fat kid,' and something clicked for him. You know, and then he did a couple of shows, right? And he even got medals, and this kind of thing.
He's just like incredibly fit. And so we're walking out to go to the gym on our recent visit there, me and Casey were walking to the gym, and this little kid- did he ask you?
Anne Stevenson: Yeah, he asked me. I mean he was like- he had this worried look on his face, and it's just like, "Why is he going to the gym? He's already fit." And I think he used the word-
Shawn Stevenson: Ripped.
Anne Stevenson: Like, "He's ripped."
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah.
Anne Stevenson: And it was- I wanted to laugh but it was like, "Aww, this is a teachable moment," as you say.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah.
Anne Stevenson: And he was like, "He has to maintain, you know? Maintain this, and plus like he loves- he loves to do it, you know? He loves to go to the gym." And I could tell like he wanted to come with you guys. Like he really did want to come with you guys.
Shawn Stevenson: Oh man, that's important too, you know? It's like paying attention to these kids that are around us, and exposing them, you know?
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: Because basically the kid was like, "But he's done!"
Anne Stevenson: I know, right?
Shawn Stevenson: "He's done! Look at him!" But this is why he's fit, is because he has these character traits that he's developed and he's going. You know? It's not even just maintaining, right?
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: You don't want to maintain, like Rick Ross say, "Forget maintain, gotta keep ballin.'" You know? Sorry, shout-out to Rick Ross.
But you know, the reality is this, so having that experience of people like, "I'm done. I'm already good," and understand that's not how life works. You know?
It's really about- there's either progression or it's regression. You can't stay the same.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: And so that's number one. Number two, you did mention how when you- your identity didn't match up to what you were seeing, and how that bothered you personally, but I still loved you. You just pointed that out. I really want people to get this, especially folks out there in a relationship.
I didn't care. Like you just had my baby, and you were also taking care of your health. Like you were eating good food, you weren't just sitting around all day doing nothing.
Anne Stevenson: No, I mean I was doing a lot of spiritual work, a lot of spiritual growth, and it was just all about the baby, you, the business, that's it. You know? Like I didn't even have a lot of structure with the household, and all those things, because that was a big plate.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, but what I want people to get is like the support because I wasn't trying to change you. I was supporting who you were because I knew if this was about- like you were blatantly hurting yourself, and like not taking care of yourself, like eating crazy food and this kind of thing, I might step in and say, "We might have an issue," right?
But instead, for me to love you how you were- and I mean like I was very, very much attracted and loving you, you know? Regardless of like the physical changes that you saw, I was like, "You're really good." You know?
But for you, you have an ideal, and I want people to get that too. It's like it doesn't matter what other people think, right? It really matters how you feel about you. First of all, we've got to get to a place of comfortability and love for ourselves, but also if you want to be better, that's okay. You know?
Because a lot of people are like- again, "You're good. But if you don't feel that way, you can step up and do something about it."
Anne Stevenson: And also too, I think human beings, we're here to evolve, and when their levels- like there's levels to this. And there's just a certain place where it's like something's going to nudge at you. Everything is cool, everybody's telling you, but it was just something in me that it was not resting, and it was telling me, "I need to do this, I need to change, I need to adapt."
Because you have to adapt to the progress, because you've created thankfully - thank you so much - of this growth aspect, like this growth stasis in the house. Like you know, it's continuous change and it's it's kind of hard if you're trying to stay the same with us because we're always changing. I mean when it's called for, too.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah. So I want to ask you, since you really embraced this fitness life, now you're about that life, and it's been a few years now, and of course like we travel a lot, we've had a lot of stuff going on in our lives, but now you're like-you're showing up at the out-of-town hotel gyms, you know what I'm saying? Taking a selfie, and that just wasn't your cup of tea back in the day.
And even when stuff's going on, you're like, "I'm going to go get my workout in," because you know how good it makes you feel, and accomplished. But I'm wondering for you personally, what are three things for you that you feel that you've learned about yourself through this process?
Anne Stevenson: First and foremost, was- and I guess this also is kind of going to that part of like- that nudge. The nudge to change. I didn't know what I was- like how amazing this was for me, and one of the first things was that I was able to take whatever I was getting from the gym and apply it to my life outside the gym.
Creating structure for our household, our business, being more alert, and of course like even with the structure for the house, meaning with the baby and the family, it's like something was able to turn on because- I mean of course you've got tons of episodes where he talks about the benefits of working out, but like here we're just going to talk about the results.
And for me, you know, my mind completely turned on. I'm able to see better, I have so much energy to do A, B, C, and D, but it wasn't like, "I'll just come for the gym and go." I actually had a plan, you know?
Like, "Okay we're going to have food this day." Like you know, planning the days out with the grocery shopping, paying more attention to what my son's eating, and so- because all those things matter.
Because if my son is eating better because I'm more alert and I'm really paying attention, then that means he's going to get less sick. So I can stay and continue with my program.
Because what would happen in the past was- yes, I would get tired. I'm like, "Okay, no. No, I'm going to start going to the gym." And I might do it for a good one or two weeks, but then something always happens.
My son would get sick and then I'll have to just- everything crashed and burned, and I'd have to stay at home with him until he recovers, and then sometimes I end up getting sick, and then that's a whole other- so next thing you know, it's three weeks, and I've not even like gone to the gym.
So I found that in itself motivated me to just stay on top of it. Because it wasn't about looks. Like everything just went out the window when it came to that. It was just about how alert and present I can be for my family, and how I can keep this structure going with that.
So that was the first thing, and then the other thing was- and this was the self-development part, which was- and I think we ended up having a conversation about it, and you actually did the episode on You Versus You episode.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah.
Anne Stevenson: Where I found that the honesty factor. Initially when I got into it after listening to ET's episode on Lewis, was when he was talking about honesty. When you sit there at the end of the day, you know you're not trying your best, you know you're not doing your best.
So that was the first part, but then the second part was how can I keep that going? Like how can I measure that I am continuously showing up and being honest? And I found working out I was able to do that because it was like, "I didn't do that last rep."
Nobody else knows. I mean I put my time in at the gym. What's his name? Steve Weatherford, he also talked about that. He was like, "When you lay yourself down at the end of the night, you know you could have given it like your last, like your all."
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah.
Anne Stevenson: And when you didn't do that, it's just that something that's in you. And so I used that part of really checking in on my honesty, and how hard am I really pushing myself? Because I knew I'm able to translate it outside of the gym.
Let's say if it's a project, or if I have to push myself a little bit more, like can I really show up? You know? Can I just- and if I did, I did my best because I know I put my hundred.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah.
Anne Stevenson: So yeah, that's the other thing. But the last thing for me, it's the most thing that just makes everything worth it, is how I've seen it change my family. You know?
I think we talked about that one of the last times I was on the show, about how women, we really do set the tone for our household, how our household runs, the energy in that.
And so it's like with me being in it, and us just creating this fitness family going, you know? Like Braden is on his thing, and Jordan is doing his thing with us going to the track. The last time we went to the track before we went out of town, you know just having my mom there. Oh my gosh, my mom!
Shawn Stevenson: So beautiful, yeah.
Anne Stevenson: Like her seeing my change and my motivation has completely transformed her life. Like physically, mentally. Like she's going to the gym at 5:00 in the morning. She's got the- she's showing her little gains and stuff, and like she's showing up, and challenging herself, and that's been the biggest reward.
And then next you know, I'm talking to my sister, and she's like, "Okay-" you know, she's finding herself at the gym. And also relationships, too. And from that, having now even friends who are like, "Hey let's work out on Saturday." And it's like this whole new world that didn't even exist to me before.
Shawn Stevenson: Wow, that's so powerful. And like you said, you know, just your attention being placed there, and then seeing- this is something we've been talking about lately too, is this concept of friends and people being in your life for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime.
And we're generally sometimes- we get into a place where we become complacent with one or more areas of our lives, right? So you've got all this stuff going on with progress, with your relationship with me, with your fitness, with your business, but friendships might be stagnant or in a place where they're not really adding value like you were adding value, for example.
And then once you realized that, and you start to open up some space and make room for better relationships - what do you know - people coming in who work out, who are doing the same thing, other moms, or folks who are just kind of- it's so funny how that happens, but it's not an accident. You know? It's really where your attention is placed.
Anne Stevenson: And it's kind of tough because- it is a tough thing of seemingly letting go because you feel like you're losing, but then like the upside is how so many other amazing individuals who are like on the same page or even better than you that are like waiting to discover you too.
So you know, it was like bittersweet, but then you know, it's been- it's just been amazing. Like the last few months, the amazing people that I've met, like I can't even.
Shawn Stevenson: I know. I know. So I would love to ask you - because I don't know - you've been through stuff, you've tried new things, you did some keto for awhile.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: Because you know, you're exposed to all of this great information, you know? But I would love to know, what is the biggest health revelation that you've had personally like within the last year?
Anne Stevenson: I think the biggest revelation would be- I think that it would be how- I guess it's a balance, you would say, of challenging myself but also loving myself. And it was something that I've been able to figure out as I've gone on.
Because initially when I discovered this whole new energy, and this world of fitness and working out- I was working out six or seven days a week, like drenched in sweat, and just going super hard.
And then- but like my body was just exhausted, and I found that all those other practices that I was doing before for my mental like self-development spiritual lifestyle, I kind of put those on the back burner because I was just on this go, go, go. And also like when I was there, it was just so physical where I just would see, "Oh man that gut. Like let me just- I've got to like do the kickboxing more because I've got to get rid of it."
And I know everybody listening, you've seen those people at the gym where it's just like they are doing those crunches because it's like you're just trying to get rid of that fat. Like you know, and it becomes a little bit- it's like hurting yourself in a way, and that's kind of what happened to me with having my ear situation and stuff like that.
Shawn Stevenson: Just a little parentheses.
Anne Stevenson: Right.
Shawn Stevenson: A little tinnitus. But go ahead. Go ahead.
Anne Stevenson: And so that made me slow down because it was like, "Why is this happening to me? Like why-" because it made me step back and re-evaluate what's going on? Because when things like that happen, they're happening for a good reason, but it's just me being able to decode what the message is, and that was my message, was like, "Am I really taking care of myself fully?"
Like how am I actually loving myself, like putting that energy back? I know I'm giving my all in the gym and all of that, but where- I'm not speaking to my inner self like I used to. Like literally taking time out, scanning my body, and having that true intimate connection that I used to- you know, like having these talks with myself.
And so that was it. It was like how can I devote- so now when I'm working out, it's not- okay yeah, I am challenging myself, but it's like that self-talk is in there where it's like still loving myself, because it's hard.
How can you set goals, like fit goals, like all these goals for yourself, but loving yourself at the same time? And everybody has to find their own, but for me, I found mine through having a sacred ritual like at night for myself.
Shawn Stevenson: Wow, I love that. Love that. So that's your biggest health revelation. What about what's been the biggest revelation you've had about me and our relationship in the last year?
Anne Stevenson: I guess I would say I used to feel like I was the anchor for like our house and everything, but I'm really starting to feel like you are the anchor of our relationship.
You've introduced so many aspects that like never existed, and I would have never thought of them if it wasn't for you. So you know, that to me has been- paying attention to that.
Because you know, it's like the woman, we run things and all of that, but in our case, I just feel that it does flip sometimes. Like in certain situations where you are my rock. You know? So most definitely I've come to see that more and appreciate you for it.
Shawn Stevenson: Oh man, this is news to me. This is news to me. Wow, that's really powerful. I'm just grateful that I can be there for you, you know? That's what I want, and I want you to feel like I've got your back and that I'm always there for you, you know?
Like literally, no matter what. And also, it's just people- it's so funny, people think it would be easy to be with somebody like who's so inspiring, or like they're always about self-development and getting better.
Like being around that, it's going to create tension, you know? And now what's so beatufiul is that we both do that for each other.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: Like it gets on my nerves sometimes when you hold me accountable. That 1% of the time I'm negative, you're like, "Look."
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: This could be- you know, like I just went through the drama of losing my bags.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: You know, like my bags went to LaGuardia from Chicago. They just said, "You know what? We're just going to send them on a different flight to somewhere else."
And you're just being like, "Well at least you're here. Right? At least you made it here. Like you're with us now." And it was just like, "You're right. You're right."
Because everybody has a tolerance level. Like I had been through so much that day, but in that 1% when I'm just like, "Just let me complain," you're like, "No. No, you need to see how much you have to be grateful for." And like it just makes me stronger.
Anne Stevenson: Well you know, like you've had to deal though the reverse more though with having to tell me about stuff, and you know, like me not listening, and then next thing you know we're having an argument, and then later on it's, "Oh you were right."
Like the shoe rack, for example. We have this- he's told me about having to put up the shoe rack on our door to create more room in the closet, and we've had it for like four, maybe even five years, and finally I did it and it's like this huge a-ha moment. I mean, I did tell him he was right. I did tell you you were right.
Shawn Stevenson: I know, it was amazing.
Anne Stevenson: But you know, what do you think- like how are other people supposed to navigate through that? Because it's like you're telling them a lot, keep on them to, "Do this, do that," but they don't listen.
Shawn Stevenson: Oh man.
Anne Stevenson: How do you have to deal with me?
Shawn Stevenson: This is so simple. Oh babe, first of all, you're hot. You know? Like that makes it easier.
Anne Stevenson: That helps?
Shawn Stevenson: You know, like you have the goods. But real talk, I mean me coming from the environment that I grew up in, patience was not a virtue. Like that was a very far thing from my reality. I was a very impatient person because, you know, in a household-
So everybody probably knows my story by now hopefully, but the first part of my life-which it's so cool to have you here because you met her.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: But I lived with my grandmother, who was my MeMaw, and it was a very just beautiful experience as a child. Like I felt safe, I felt valued, I felt like I mattered, I felt like I was being educated, I felt like anything was possible for me. You know? Life was really beautiful.
And from there, I moved in with my mother who in ways, like she couldn't take care of me. And you know, like even when I'd go see her on the weekends, like I'm sleeping on the floor, we got mice, and roaches.
And that's just the environment but also it was the mental environment I was exposed to, you know? I mean just chronically getting high, and drunk. My stepfather just having me in really dangerous environments, and the fighting, you know?
But for my mom, she was just remarkably impatient, and that rubbed off on my to the degree I didn't even know until we got together, how impatient I was. Because it's just not me today, you know?
But when she would want something, if you're not there by the time she's done saying the sentence, she's yelling at you, and cussing you out, and like just very angry, you know? In how impatient she was.
And so having that, and then having my kids, Jordan and Jasmine, having my two kids, my son and daughter before we got together, before I met you, I'm still young but I would just be so impatient especially with them. And it wasn't until we got together and I decided, "Like no matter what, I'm going to be in this." You know? And I'm not going to run from you like I would historically do.
You know, and by the way, a little quick note for all the ladies listening who is dealing with a dude, just like, "He's got potential."
You've got to understand, this is important, because men will never change until they decide to. You cannot change somebody, but especially change a man. Alright?
We've already said this- you've said it, like if I would have met you a year before, like it would have been here today, gone tomorrow.
Anne Stevenson: It would have been a wrap.
Shawn Stevenson: It would have been a wrap.
Anne Stevenson: That would have been it.
Shawn Stevenson: And I'm so glad that didn't happen, but I had decided that I want to be a good man. I want to be somebody who's accountable, I want to be somebody who grows, because a relationship is the number one thing that's going to grow you.
And so for me, one of those huge things, like top three, was my patience. You know, and if we were going to be happy, if we were going to have a cordial ability to talk, I needed to be patient. If I really wanted to see you to change, and to go with me on these different things I was doing, my ideas, I couldn't expect- and I was ignorant in the beginning.
Like, "Why are you not with me?" That would hurt you so much when I would say that like, "Why are you not with me? Like I'm doing these things. We're going to change the world. And it's just like I'm talking- I'm like teaching three people in the class, right?
And I had to be patient. Instead of saying, "You're not with me," I had to be patient in you seeing the vision. I had to be more patient and give you more exposures and examples of how this is really coming to fruition and be patient.
It wasn't perfect, of course, but I just developed that muscle of like- and especially, get this, probably one of the biggest things was me accepting you for who you are. You know? And just accepting you for who you are right now, and you are perfect how you are, and just to love you.
You might get on my nerves a little.
Anne Stevenson: Just a little bit? Just a little? Just a little?
Shawn Stevenson: But I still love you so much, just how you are in those different stages, you know? And it's so funny how acceptance of a person and their spirit and where they are helps to lead them to wanting to change and be better for you as well, you know?
Because for me, like I wanted to be better for you, I wanted to be better for our kids, and I wanted to be better for all of these people who are listening now, just to be the model, you know? And so- but you were really the catalyst for that.
Anne Stevenson: Wonderful, wonderful answer. No, that was awesome, babe. Like I appreciate you for that because I know it was hard. It was very hard.
Shawn Stevenson: Well you know, I did develop the muscle. You know? Thank you.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah, you did.
Shawn Stevenson: Very, very developed. Okay, so I would love to talk about you've also been there- like I could talk to you about what we really do. Like you were there firsthand in our household, and just all- like our biggest expense for the longest was food.
Like because you know, we're buying the best of the best stuff, and we have these growing boys in the house as well, you know? And just having these high standards. Like you a lot of times are at the Whole Foods checkout, we get that receipt that's so long, like it could be like a scarf, right? Throw it around yourself a couple times. It's crazy, like it's flapping in the wind.
But recently, this was a couple years ago, we started using Thrive Market, right? And you do the shopping sometimes, but most of the time I'm the one on there like grabbing the stuff from Thrive Market, and it's crazy how much money it's saved us.
And you actually just bought something that I was like, "I'm never going to run out of-" because I would buy five.
Anne Stevenson: I only bought one jar, though. I only bought one because you need to order more today.
Shawn Stevenson: Today. Today. My cart's already full actually, so I've got to just finish the cart because you know, we had to do the show.
So Thrive Market, and the reason we use Thrive Market is that we're saving 25% to 50% off the retail prices of the same stuff you'd find in Whole Foods.
And in addition, guys, if you utilize Thrive Market, your first purchase, you get 25% to 50% off all their items. So what kind of stuff do we get from there?
Anne Stevenson: Toothpaste, feminine products - amazing, amazing, amazing. I love to get the bars for the kids. I just like all the- you know like pantry- anything to do with the pantry in the kitchen, I'm like 100% about that.
I can't wait to get the actual frozen meats and stuff.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, they're doing that.
Anne Stevenson: Whenever they start to do that, that's going to- like to be able to send that.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, produce. They're working on that, too.
Anne Stevenson: Yes.
Shawn Stevenson: So you know, the non-perishable goods. So we get bars, the coconut oil, olive oil, avocado oil is amazing from there. We save so much money, probably $5.00 less than you'd get from Whole Foods.
You know, things like quinoa, what else? We get so many things.
Anne Stevenson: I like the Primal dressing.
Shawn Stevenson: Oh the dressing. The Primal Kitchen dressings.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah, all the dressings are so good.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, so just so many good things, and you could shop under categories. So if you're into Paleo, they've got a Paleo category, gluten-free, non-GMO, vegan, whatever it is that you're looking for, they've got it all categorized, but they're curating the products.
So they're going and finding the best companies that are doing the most good on the planet as well, and so you can count on you getting the best thing and saving money.
So go to www.ThriveMarket.com/modelhealth. Alright so the 'modelhealth' is one word. So www.ThriveMarket.com/modelhealth. You already get 25% to 50% off, but your first purchase, you get an additional 25% off your entire cart. Alright?
Crazy stuff. Plus, free shipping. I know many a time I've thought twice about ordering something online because of shipping. Like I might spend $200, but then the shipping is like $10, I'm like, "I'm just going to go to the store." You know? So crazy.
And you get a thirty day free membership, and I encourage you, keep the membership. You save so much money, it's absurd, you know? And again, www.ThriveMarket.com/modelhealth. Get that hook-up.
If you're not using Thrive Market, you are seriously missing out. So head over there and check them out.
Now back to you. What is- what do you feel for yourself personally- what's the number one thing you need psychologically? What is the number one thing psychologically that you need to follow through on your goals?
Anne Stevenson: For me, I feel that the way I do it is if I ask myself the question, "If I don't do it, what's going to happen?" So I'll just go down this- all these processes and the steps, and like to feel the pain of not following through.
And I believe CJ even talked about that, how to use fear for your goals, because it's a good thing. And so I just think there are maybe two- maybe two types of people where it's like they will get pushed by that fear, like to make them act, or people who are like you who are inspired by seeing this awesome utopia and it's like, "Oh I'm just going to get up in the morning, and the sun is out, and we're going to conquer the world."
Like I work opposite. So that to me has always worked the best. I mean an example would be with me not working out. It's just I go down this road of it was like if I don't work out, not only how bad I'm going to feel, but my mental setup of it's just jargled and trying to get the kids going, and all these other aspects, and I'm going to be exhausted at the end of the day, and then you have to save me at the end of the day, and I know you're tired too, and I don't want to burden you with me and my energy. I want to bring you like the utmost, because you need it just as much, and how that's just going to make us feel.
So I'm like, "I don't want that, so I'm on it. I have to get that done."
Shawn Stevenson: I love that. And that's another thing about us, is that I think we're very conscious of how we affect each other.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: And so you don't want me to go on stage, and like you're nitpicking me about some random thing, or even like you want to make sure that I'm happy and that I'm in a good space. You know? Because you understand my responsibility, my value.
Same thing for me, and moreso than ever, like we are very quick to realize when we're not- when we've done something wrong to each other. Or even sometimes when we might not necessarily be the wrong person, but just apologize for our part in it.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: But it's not like, "I'm sorry that you feel that way." You know? That's not really apologizing. You know? But it's just like, "I'm sorry for this. Like I really love you." And you know, it's not easy for sure, you know? And that's something- I don't think that was really a part of your character. I know it wasn't for me.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah I was awful in apologizing. I mean, my mom didn't- like she didn't grow up apologizing for nothing, and I took onto that trait. I think you taught me on being more sensitive, and it's always funny because most times the woman is supposed to be more sensitive than the guy, but in our case it was opposite where it was- even if I felt like I was completely wrong, man to say I was sorry or to even- it was like I would rather you pull my teeth out. Like it was so bad.
But you know, you coaching me through that time and time again, and then just seeing how it would make you feel like not hearing that apology. Like because it would make you feel so bad, and it was just kind of that choice like my pride or do I want to continue just making you feel bad, even though it's making you feel bad because actually I was wrong, and I can't even saying nothing about it, you know?
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, and same here, you know? Just again, small things, and just not allowing those to turn into bigger things because you're not addressing when we have little differences in our energy, you know? And we don't just sweep stuff under the rug. Like we address it, you know?
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: And just be like, "You know, I'm sorry about this."
Anne Stevenson: Yeah, I remember, I think I was talking to my friend yesterday and I was like, "I don't care where we're at." And you were the same way, I think that's one of our things, which is not going to bed like if we're upset at each other, and it's like we'll stay up and get it right.
Or you know, it doesn't matter where we're at, like whoever, however, it's like we are going- come on our side, what's going on, let's figure it out. I don't care if you've got to go on stage, and vice versa like if I have something important, we've got to figure that out.
Like we cannot- because I think people will take it for granted that the other person is going to be there tomorrow, or we'll get it tomorrow and we'll talk it out, and we'll figure it out.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed so it's like you have this moment with each other, and you say you love each other, let's get to the bottom of it so we can move forward in this awesome, beautiful space that we both want to be in.
Shawn Stevenson: Right. I think it's a big issue why people don't do that is proximity, you know? Like you get used to people, you know? We take for granted, especially if you're being close for a long time in a husband and wife situation, where maybe you've got ten years under your belt, twenty years, whatever, and it's just like they're kind of a part of you.
Like they're a part of your landscape of reality, and being that, that is so close to you, you want to control it. Like you just want the person to do what you want, and to act the way you want, and that's setting yourself up for a lot of stress, and a lot of like even just distaste for the person instead of understanding like, "You know what? They're going to say and do-"
Because I'll be like, "Why would you say that?" Like that's one of the things, you know? Because you're the type of person, which is what I now see as like, "There she goes again." Like it's cute to me, because you even do it with your sister.
Like she'll be like, "Why would you say that?" Like you'll do that stuff because you'll just say the thing like an innocent person, just like what's the big deal? You know?
And you know, but for me to reframe it instead of like, "I can't control what you say." And when she said the thing, she's not trying to attack me, or like these crazy constructs we'll come up within our head, and so it's just taking a step back and realizing where the person's heart really lies, and also understanding that I cannot control you, you cannot control me, but we are in this together to make each other happy. If that makes sense.
Anne Stevenson: Team.
Shawn Stevenson: There's no I in team. Alright, so let's talk about for the parents out there that have a lot going on, they've got the kids, they've got maybe a pet or two in the mix like your sister's got- they have too many animals. I'm sorry, I know that they're listening right now, but it's too many. Alright? Too many animals.
But you know, busy life, got work, got responsibilities with the kids. Like even today, we got- my little guy is graduated from kingergarten. I didn't get a graduation in kindergarten. It was just like, "See you, first grade is coming up after the summer." You know?
And you know, but they're doing this really amazing play that they're a part of, and so but we have those responsibilities. We've got to get the other son to work, and this kind of thing.
What are two or three tips that you can share to help busy parents to stay on track with their personal health and fitness goals?
Anne Stevenson: I think first foremost it's the mental setup. Like the mental aspect, the 'why.' Because again, if your 'why' is not strong enough, it's only going to last for however long.
I mean you're going to listen to how many podcasts, you're going to take all the notes, you have your shoes by the door, but if you've got kids, you already know- I mean you know, like something unexpected is going to happen.
So again, I urge parents to look at it from the other perspective of, "If I don't do this, what is it actually going to cost me?"
I'll give a perfect example yesterday. We worked out in the morning, driving home, I hit a deer. I hit a deer coming home. As a matter of fact, I didn't see it.
Shawn Stevenson: True story.
Anne Stevenson: I did not see it, I don't know where that came from.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah.
Anne Stevenson: Hit a deer, came home, and now all of a sudden it's like you've got to think of all the things- because I woke up stressed, right? I woke up stressed because of this play, and I couldn't find orange pants. It's like summertime, there's no pants. As a matter of fact, everything is shorts.
Shawn Stevenson: No, I've got to talk about this really quickly because this is important right here. Alright?
So you know, you could be- and this is from your childhood, right? You don't want your son- because when you came- you came from Kenya. In Kenya, you were the bomb.
Anne Stevenson: I told you, you've got to help me with this. You've got to help me with this.
Shawn Stevenson: In Kenya, you were it. Like you know, Geri, which is your middle name. Like she got the hair, she got the swag. Like you were hot. You came here, you was like- you know, you guys went to K-Mart, Payless, got your gear. You were like, "Oh man, I'm going to school, I'm hot. Like I've never had clothes like this. I'm going to be so fly."
And then getting drove, like kids just making fun of you, disrespecting you. And of course that breaks my heart, I can't stand it. It's like where are those little kids? Where are they at now?
But anyways, so I'd be like- hearing these stories from you, and just like how much like you got isolated, and you'd eat lunch by yourself and all these stories because you didn't really feel like- not just not the cool kid, but also just like isolated and different, and you don't want him to feel different.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: And our son is- he's literally the opposite. Like he comes in the door, they run to him, and run and hug him, and just like- it's crazy, it's like a little superstar. I'm like, "Is this normal?" I guess you guys missed him since yesterday, but- and also it's his personality, but also the environment and the people that are around him too.
You know, it's not like this kind of soup. Like there's a lot of kids that are from foreign cultures already there, right? So you would have had a much graceful experience.
But anyways, so you know, I'm just like, "Let him live. Alright? Let him be, he's already cool." You were so worried about his pants not being right, right?
Anne Stevenson: No, we didn't have pants. I ordered orange pants on Amazon.
Shawn Stevenson: You needed orange pants for the play, right?
Anne Stevenson: Because I couldn't find any for the play.
Shawn Stevenson: For the play, you needed orange pants. Right.
Anne Stevenson: And I couldn't find any anywhere.
Shawn Stevenson: After you spent hours and hours calling stores, online, then you finally ordered them from Amazon. You left the package sitting there for a day or two, you opened it up- you ordered the orange pants, you opened it up, orange sweatshirt.
So the orange pants were not there, it was an orange sweatshirt right there. Right? And then you go to Amazon like, "What did I order? Did I order the wrong thing?" And then there's the reviews.
People were like, "I'm pretty sure I ordered orange sweatpants. It's a nice sweater," but they would send the wrong thing. It's just like the worst company ever.
Anne Stevenson: Right, taking pictures. It's like the worst. I am- I never wrote an Amazon review, I'm so writing one. Like I'm writing one today because that's just so wrong.
Shawn Stevenson: Don't baby. We don't have to do that.
Anne Stevenson: Alright, just let it go?
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, just focus on greatness. Alright? We don't got time. So here's the thing, you wanting so badly for him to make sure he's fitting in, he's not different, and it was a play recently, and they were all supposed to be witches and warlocks apparently, it was a Shakespeare play, and he's on stage for like- literally his line takes twenty seconds, ten seconds maybe, and you're like, "No, he needs to have the black," and this kind of thing.
And he didin't have a witch's outfit, and I was like, "It can't be that serious." And so we took a little triangle from poster board, and I had him color it black, and then took a black baseball cap, and I glued- I taped that triangle to his hat. I was like, "That's a witch's hat. Done." Alright?
And we get there, all the kids- and they have never been like this consistent, had their little witch's outfit on for the play. And my son-
Anne Stevenson: Was the only one. So I'm right here like, "This would never-"
Shawn Stevenson: You were like, "See? See? I told you."
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: I was like, "He's cool though."
Anne Stevenson: No.
Shawn Stevenson: "He's alright, look at him."
Anne Stevenson: And in my head, I'm like, "This can never happen again." And then here we go again, cut to a few weeks later, I'm like in the same place, and I woke up with that. You know? Just like, "Okay, I don't have the pants, he does have orange shorts, but I don't want him to be different."
But then you know, again side note, like just having that energy in the morning, it's going to be like- you about to have not the best day ever. But thankfully, we went and had an amazing workout, then came home, hit the deer on my way home, and had to like- of course at this point you already know with the State Farm, like all this insurance stuff that you've got to deal with, which means now I've got to- time that I did not even have, because mind you again, we've been home for two days now, and we don't have any food in the refrigerator.
Like I've got to go grocery shopping no matter what, so it's like that, and then trying to catch up with all of the stuff that- we have so much work to do. And so it's like I have to now leave to go take the car to the collision center, and then from there I have to go get a rental car, and all that process took like way longer than it should have for like no apparent reason, because people were not doing their job, but whatever.
Shawn Stevenson: Right, you've been talking about that too.
Anne Stevenson: I know. And then we get the car, which smells like smoke, which I currently have. Like it's just- somebody just smoked like a thousand cigarettes in that car.
Shawn Stevenson: First, listen. It's a rental car from a major rental place. Alright? I'm like, "Why don't you just get a different car?" And you were like, "This is the only one they have."
Anne Stevenson: Only car in the lot. I'm not kidding.
Shawn Stevenson: Immediately I'm like, "What business do you have doing business?" Right? "You've got one car. You're a rental car company. You have one car available?"
And like I was like, "Is it that bad?" And then I got in today and it is really, really terrible.
Anne Stevenson: I know.
Shawn Stevenson: It's like the plates are from Florida, and we're in St. Louis, so it seems that somebody chainsmoked from Florida all the way to here the entire time, windows up, alright? With the heat on, and just like infused that into the car.
Anne Stevenson: Right.
Shawn Stevenson: And they were just like, "Oh this is normal. This is okay." Side note, sorry, but that's not great, right? I wonder why their location franchise goes under. Right? blame and point fingers. "Oh we're going to wash it for you."
You know it smells like cigarette smoke. Sorry.
Anne Stevenson: So anyways, so now with that energy of I'm just exhausted and I still got to go to Whole Foods, spent like- again, since we don't have anything, I spent like a good hour in there to get food for the week, and you've always got to get extra because the boys are just- you guys are just- you drive me crazy.
So by the time I get home, I'm so tired, and the first thing I said when I came through the door was like, "Man, I'm so glad I got that workout in, because ain't no way- ain't no way I would have had to like maneuver all of that yesterday."
So for me, it's looking at how much- it's your life line, period, end of story. If you are an entrepreneur, a parent, and most importantly if you work from home, it's a must you work out. Like and I'm talking about- you know, having having a great intention with it.
Like there is no other way, short, nothing. There's no discussion because the amount of energy that you're putting in every single day, the decisions- Chalene talked about that.
Like how much mental energy takes for the decisions? Everything that comes across you, it's just like weighing you down. And then when you have kids, that's- teenagers, for example. And also they're problem solving for the kids, or if you are trying to come up with punishments for consequences that they've done like to really internalize the entire process.
If you're tired from everything that's been going on, because that's what I feel your fitness- because when you work out automatically, you have more energy, and then you're going to start to expand your thinking if you allow it.
Of course I know that people are like, "I work every day," but I just think it helps tremendously if you allow it to. So that I think is the key, it's just looking at it more if I don't work out, what would that do for me and my family?
Because you don't want to go there. You've been there so many times and you know how horrible you feel at the end of the day.
So that to me is the number one thing, is just looking at it from the other perspective because you've lived there.
Shawn Stevenson: Now what about any particular like strategy or- so again, busy parent, lots of stuff going on, how do you make sure that you're getting to the gym in the morning if that's when you're going to the gym? Or you know, after work, or whatever the case might be.
Is it like scheduling it? Is it like having your clothes out? Like what is it? What do you think people can do or what do you do personally to make sure that you are showing up?
Anne Stevenson: I think the first thing is setting some time up for yourself to really looking at- I mean and writing down like all the things that you need to do or have to do. That's huge because then you're able to see how you can schedule it, like you say.
But that- you have to take inventory. I think a lot of entrepreneurs who are listening, if you are about to delegate to an assistant or whatever, you have to first write down all the things that you're doing so you can actually see it on paper.
Because we just- it's like a mental note in your head. So when you have it, then you're like, "Okay there is this stuff that I have to do today. Like we have soccer practice on this day."
Like all the things- I have to pick up my son from football practice on these days, and if it's all the other kids involved, like you know, with all their activities and everything, put them all out in a calendar, like all the different times so everything is there.
Like I use Gogle Calendar, and instead of having it- again, all in your head. Like we said, if you're putting- having it in your head, it's just so much energy that you're just using up, and that's what we're trying to do, is free.
So I highly recommned putting everything in the calendar so you can see what's available to you. And I know as you always recommend, is working out in the morning. I mean again, I know some things- you can't avoid them, and things will happen, but if you can- and I think you also talk about like five or ten minutes of just being able to get that in, in the morning, that would be it.
But most importantly, it's your night routine, and that intention. I believe if it's like with the journaling, like having that intention for it. So for me, I remember I would- I had my vision board right by the bed, and it was the first thing- the last thing I saw when I went to sleep and the first thing when I woke up.
And so it was like- and I remember the alarm would go off, and I would get up. First thing in my head was like, "Rise and grind." And you know, it's just I hop right out and I see, "Okay, this is what I'm going for." Like it's right there in front of me so I can remember, "Okay, like my objectives, where I'm headed."
Because that's another thing, like I've seen so many people do, it's like you have- you listen to ET, you listen to somebody who's inspiring, he's waking up at 3:00 in the morning, and you're going to start getting up.
And you're getting up, and you're going, and you're working up, and you're doing it, but there is no plan. Like there is no actual like sitting down and you actually having that entire plan on how this is going to go.
So you are doing it, and you're putting in a lot of work, but where is this actually going? You know what I mean?
You know, you're going to stat looking fit or whatever, but I think the 'why' has to be a little bit deeper, and so that's kind of what I do.
Shawn Stevenson: I love it. Having just- it's so simple, but just like having a plan. Having a plan for your day, you know? Oh man, because I think really we are kind of at the mercy of like whatever happens a lot of times, you know? Like so being very firm in that, so I love that so much.
One last thing I want to ask you about- well two quick things. One of them is food prep, alright? Just really quick, this is something that's been relatively new for us.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: It's solved a lot of issues, you know?
Anne Stevenson: Oh my goodness.
Shawn Stevenson: So how do you go about doing your food prep? And what helps you mentally to be able to get it done?
Anne Stevenson: First and foremost, again I always go to my 'whys' because for me to do something long-lasting, it has to be a strong enough 'why.' And for me, my 'why' was- you know, you're at home with me, we're both working all day, but it was like you would come in the kitchen, and you'd look so hopeless, and you're over there trying to scramble your little food and whatever it is in the refrigerator.
And it was like, "Man, he's wasting so much time when he could be spending that time like crushing it and doing what's actually more important." And of course, again I do still make dinner, and I make breakfast, but that lunch thing.
Because for me- and it's still never been my thing, I just don't like to eat lunch that much. That's just- you know, it's not my favorite thing to do. So kind of like, "I don't care what everybody else is doing." You know?
So that was my motivation, was like I wanted you to do what you need to do, so that was first and foremost. And so how do I do that? And then I started kind of looking at how everybody was meal prepping, and that's kind of what got me in that.
So it would be writing out my list. First I would- during the week I would just kind of look at recipes that I want to try with things that I would want you to have. And then on Sundays, I would go to the grocery store, and then I'd come home, and set up.
And honestly, it ended up being one of my favorite times of being alone. Like you know, and funny enough you guys never bother me ever. It works out perfect.
But having my little laptop, my Bluetooth on, and able to just zone out and get to cooking. I love to cook anyways, and then having like all the meals in the refrigerator for you, it's the best thing ever. And then for me too, next thing you know, like especially if I'm working out this much, I should be eating more basically.
But also too, I think after awhile- because I think everybody, you do get burned out, I know I did, but then luckily we did go on vacation. Well vacation for me, work for you.
And we came back, and I felt like I'm more fueled up, like I can't wait to meal prep again. The only thing I would change now is I would probably want to do grocery shopping on a different day than doing it the same day that I'm meal prepping so I can still have some time at the end of the day to just kind of wind down with you guys.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, and also this is a time- like you said, it's your 'me' time. I've got the boys, and we're off doing whatever we're doing. And you know, this is your time, you can get your mental snacks in.
You know, it's not all just about personal development.
Anne Stevenson: Shout-out to Vikings.
Shawn Stevenson: So you're watching your favorite shows. You know, I'm just like, "How do you know so much about this show?" You'll crush some seasons doing the food prep.
Anne Stevenson: Hey, and that's the thing. You do need that wind down time, I think, because in a way it gives you a different perspective for all the self- development work. It's the weirdest thing. Like it always does that for me.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, love it. Love it. So last thing I want to ask you about is- you know, yesterday you mentioned something, and you were just talking about how a lot of women don't really realize how strong they actually are, you know? How strong, and capable, and gifted they are.
And I want to just ask you, because you are with me, you know what I'm saying? And you're very influential on me. And so a lot of people in relationships, they're just like, "I can't get him to- I can't get him to- he's not listening," or whatever.
What advice can you give, or what insight can you share on 'influencing' your mate to kind of get on board with the program?
Anne Stevenson: I think first of all, I want to shout-out my grandmother, and my mom, and my sister. But I just think I have been fortunate to have such amazing strong women in my life that I have just some solid examples on what a strong woman looks like.
And once I had Braden, I really- I started to understand that strength that I had in me, that it wasn't a physical thing, even though- you know, when you work out, it is a certain strength that I'm able to tap into, but this is a whole other part that I never knew existed in me. I knew it was dormant until then.
So that has helped, but again, if you don't necessarily have that background or anything, I know truly that women, we have this superpower that we want to- we try and ignore it. I knew it was there before realizing and having home birth and all of that, it was there.
It was just like I didn't want to own up to it. I felt that I wanted to shy away from it, but it just kept on coming. And again, situations will come forth for you to express that.
So first, it's just the realization that if you are a wife, or a girlfriend, it's like you do take control of the relationship in a different aspect, but you're able to- you're kind of the driver.
You're able to- they always say you can train your man how you want them to treat you. And it was just like, "Wow, how am I supposed to do that? Like they seem like they know- they're a hard head, they can't listen."
The thing is, they don't want to be without you. Plain and simple. And if they don't, like obviously they're not the one for you. And again, it's not about abusing your power, it's you've always been able to see the bigger picture before it happens.
And I'm speaking to the ladies, we are always able to see it, even when it's a small inkling something happens. I know you can testify to this, so many times I've told you about something, and then sure enough it comes to pass.
But it had to happen so many times. I think some men, it might have to take so many times for it to happen where it's like, "I told you so."
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, should have listened to Mamacita.
Anne Stevenson: Right.
Shawn Stevenson: Should have listened.
Anne Stevenson: Until now, he just has to come be like, "What do you think?"
Shawn Stevenson: True. True.
Anne Stevenson: You know, but- and then we talk about that patience of being there and being like, "You know what? He'll get it." But you know who you're in the relationship with and what route you have to take.
For you, I knew you would get it at some point, but some things we just have to go through the motions with it, but as women it's like standing up to that role. Because if you don't, no one else will.
And I know sometimes it seems unfair, like, "Well he should-" no he's busy. He has his own role and he knows what he's here to do. For you, he is- like he can be the provider, or however whatever title that you have, the complexity of the relationship. But standing up - standing up for that because no one else will.
That means you taking control of what happens in the house. This is what we're going to do in the mornings. We're going to talk this out. I don't care what happens, no. Yeah, you want to go? Okay, if you go, then these are the consequences.
And that's another part I feel they're so afraid if they set consequences that their man will leave them. Then obviously it wasn't for you. And I'm sorry it hurts to say that, but it's the truth. They were not there for you, because if they are, they're willing to battle it out.
If that means they're going to sit there and ya'll are going to like talk for five hours straight to figure out what is going on because you are worth it, but it takes for you to recognize that because a man cannot- is not going to shine that light for you to do that.
And the thing is, every woman knows this is true. They feel it in their heart, it's just that afraid of, "If I do it, the love will be taken away. I don't want to be too strong," or all these small things.
And the funny thing, a man will embrace that. They will embrace it, and will uplift you up even more. So I think patience, but also just following your inate gut to just follow through, stand up, and being strong.
Shawn Stevenson: Oh my goodness. This is like- babe, when you said he doesn't want to be without you, man that hit my soul. Like I definitely do not want to be without you. What does it take? What do I have to do? You know?
And I'm going through scenarios in my mind like, "What if I'm upset? What if I'm like really hurt about something?" So? I still don't want to be without you. So I'm going to do whatever it takes. You know?
Anne Stevenson: And can I say something too though? And when I say this, sometimes like there will be people where it's like, "I'm just going to do it, and being this strong voice," but I think also to add compassion to it. Like also seeing what you need to do to become that woman first.
Because there's always inner work to be done, and the more you do inner work, the more compassionate you will be for your mate, and you will know the right way to say things, but still being that firm individual that is willing to stand for themselves, to be that voice that they know like it's been in their heart all this time.
Shawn Stevenson: I love it, babe. Thank you so much for sharing that, and thank you for- listen, I usually ask people the model they're here to set. I've asked you in the past, but I'm going to tell you the model that you set, alright?
So the model that you set for other people with how you live your life, you are demonstrating what grace looks like, and being able to be strong, but also be kind and compassionate at the same time.
Like to be able to walk that line, that balance is something that you do just because you are who you are.
The model that you're setting is being a leader for your family. Like you said, you make the decisions. You know, you really do run the household. I might be whatever, an anchor or whatever, but you are the person, you know? And you set the temperature, you know? You set the tone, and you understand that power now, and you've embraced it and stepped into it.
And even despite circumstances, you are somebody that I can always count on. You help me to solve my problems. I solve problems for everybody else, a my problems.
And so you are there to like help the person that is in most need, you know? The person who's responsible for so many other people, you know? You are that.
And finally, you set the model of being- you are so beautiful, you are fine. I love you so much, I've just got to put it out there. Okay? You set that model, you know? So I can't hardly keep my eyes off you.
Anne Stevenson: Thank you.
Shawn Stevenson: And you know this, like you'll be in there doing food prep, I'm just staring at you.
Anne Stevenson: Oh my goodness.
Shawn Stevenson: Yup. Can't wait to get done, I'm not going to bother her though, because this is her time. So you know, I just appreciate you, and I love you so much, and thank you for biting the bullet and coming on the show today. Thank you, baby.
Anne Stevenson: Thank you for having me, and you know, thank you for being our light, you know? You have changed all of us, our family, and being the best example. I can't even imagine the kind of example- I dreamt of you, but you were even better in real life because of the example you set for our kids, for everybody you meet, and I'm just happy to be next to you to witness it all. I'm very honored, so thank you.
Shawn Stevenson: I'm about to run out of here now. I've got to run. Life is over, I've accomplished. Thank you so much, baby. That means everything, thank you. I
Alright everybody, thank you so much for tuning into the show today, and sticking with us with this love fest at the end, but I'm telling you, I just- I'm in love with her, you know? We've been together for about fifteen years, and I feel like I just met her, you know? And that's what's possible.
It's so crazy that it's even like this, but it just goes back to some of the fundamental things that she's been sharing, you know? And it really just keeps our relationship new because we are new and we're constantly growing and evolving, but honoring each other and paying attention to that.
And it does- again, it's not all easy, it's not all sunshine and rainbows and kittens and random deers out on the road. I don't even know if it was a deer, it disappeared apparently. We only know it was a deer by the fur that's in the grill of the car.
I know this is kind of a little morbid, but it's a good thing she's okay, what the-? Really though, I mean anyways.
You know, it's just understanding that a relationship is that, it's relating, right? It's relating to another human being, being able to put yourself in their shoes, being able to have patience and compassion, and understanding like I'd better not treat somebody better than I treat my wife just because I'm used to her.
I'd better talk to her with the same amount of compassion and patience that I would talk to a stranger, you know? If I'm not doing that, I've got to address it myself, I've got to fix something myself.
And so I really learned that, and I paid attention to that, and again it's not like I'm perfect, but also she had to learn it's still the whole me because I'm also the person that will call somebody out, even if it is a stranger. I will like- you know, but me doing that for her, she wasn't trying to feel that at first, you know?
And so I had to address another approach to it, but I'm not changing who I am in my core, and she loves me for that, and I love that she loves me for that. You know?
And so again, it's not supposed to be all perfect and sunshine and rainbows, but it can be a lot of good days and a lot of happiness, but it's just working on yourself and just understanding the value of other people, alright?
So I hope you got a lot of value out of this. Make sure to share this out with your friends and family on social media. And of course you can tag me, I'm @ShawnModel on Instagram. On Facebook it's @TheModelHealthShow, is that right? I love having her here because she can tell me the truth about stuff. So @TheModelHealthShow on Facebook. On Twitter, @ShawnModel.
And listen, this is important stuff, you know? So sharing is caring, alright? So share it out with the people that you care about.
I appreciate you immensely. We've got some fire- I'm talking about powerful, powerful stuff coming up for you, so make sure to stay tuned. Take care, have an amazing day, and I'll talk with you soon.
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